My next band will be a group of 3 or 4 people who get along with each other. My next band will spend more time playing than discussing. We will start out with easy cover versions just to learn more about the chemistry of us playing together. There will be a strict ‘no doodling between songs’ policy in our rehearsal room. We will not release any of our songs (online or elsewhere) during our first year. We will think that our first batch of songs is really great. We will also know that our first songs are going to suck. Melody, vocals and catchiness will be the important features of my next band. The rhythm section, the production and any solos will be secondary.
Once we start playing live, our goal will be having a good time with the audience. Our live shows will be interactive. They will be more than just a string of songs. There will be stories between songs. We won’t play an encore unless there is substantial demand. We will tell the sound engineer to keep the volume down. If necessary, we will bribe him. People should be able to get the music without drowning in a wall of noise. We will be prepared to play with flawed (or no) monitor sound. Live shows are about the audience, not about ‘more bass on the drum monitor’. Our band name will be featured prominently (banners, shirts, flyers, cakes) and we will mention it repeatedly during a concert.
Okay, I’m just kidding. My next band will be the worst wrock band ever. Maybe I can find two other people who care to join. There will be songs like “Wizards Have Long Hair Because They Like Heavy Metal Music” and “My Autotune Charm Doesn’t Work”. Our cover story will be that we had been expelled from Hogwarts after trashing the school’s music room. We will spend more time decorating our instruments and stage set than rehearsing. People will be eager to book us, because every band playing after us will automatically sound good. And we will be the band that plays just before curfew in order to get people to leave the venue. Some people will secretly like our music. This group of people is likely to consist of our parents.